Small Families in God’s Congregation

Elida Holmstrom | The Voice of Zion April 2025 - Home & Family Article --

In this article, members of small families from Saskatchewan congregations share their experiences—how family size shaped their upbringing, their sense of belonging in the congregation, and the blessings and challenges they encountered. Each family, regardless of size, comes to be as God wills.

Good and gracious Lord, thank You for our home, for our family, and our loved ones, for the life which Thou hast given, all those dear to me, precious gifts from Thee. – SHZ 431:1

A family is a precious gift. Many believers in God’s kingdom grow up in and later raise large families. Many assume they will have a large family. However, what if God has other plans? What if you have no children or one child? Many questions may arise as we ponder small and large families.

Tell about your family, childhood or current.

Caroline Ylioja: There are four in our family. We farmed and were part of the Dunblane congregation for many years. Our parents retired a few years ago and moved to Outlook. Although John and I have lived elsewhere since finishing high school, the flexibility of remote work has allowed us both to recently move to the Outlook area. We are lucky to be close enough to spend time together as a family.

Twila Simonson: Both Henry and I grew up in large families. We assumed when we first were married that we would be blessed with many children. After seven years of marriage God blessed us with one daughter. We felt great joy when she was born! We will celebrate our thirtieth wedding anniversary, and twenty-three years of having our precious Samantha in our lives. We live on a cattle farm outside Outlook.

Leslie and Audrey Holmstrom: There is a five year age gap between our first two children, and three years between our second and third children. This age difference fragmented the closeness during their childhood. Forgiveness is what drew us closer together as a family. If there wasn’t forgiveness, the fragmented relationship would still exist.

Elida Holmstrom: Growing up as the oldest daughter, I was the one who looked out for my brothers, since they were much younger. As we grew older the closeness grew, and now that we are adults the bond is great!

David Holmstrom: I grew up in a small family with two siblings. I was the second oldest. Now I am married with thirteen, soon to be fourteen, children. I can say I have experienced both small and large family life.

How is your family different from other families in your congregation?

Edward and Maria Ylioja: Activities are different. In a large family, duties are spread out among many. In our family, Caroline helped with outside chores, and John helped inside due to his blindness. In smaller families, jobs may be more consistent. In our family, Maria tended to do more as help didn’t come as readily.

John Ylioja: There are less people around for activities. We have visited our neighbors through the years and had many visits with relatives. Friendships and bonds from childhood are strong, so visiting is easier.

Caroline: I guess ours is a small family, but, it seems that today believers belong to families and homes of all kinds. Some have many children with large extended families, some have a single parent, some have no children, or few children like ours. Some homes consist of one person. No matter what kind of home we come from, each of us has unique experiences, challenges and perspectives on life.

Henry and Twila Simonson: Being such a small family, we have been able to take many family vacations and spend a lot of time together.

Samantha Simonson: You could say that we are different from many believing families because I am an only child. However, we aren’t different in the ways that matter. I was raised in a believing home, where the gospel was the most important aspect in our family.

Leslie and Audrey: In a small family you don’t learn how to defend yourself among your peers.

Elida: In a larger family, it seems the children always have someone to visit and play with. They learn to compromise by working out differences between them.

David: All my close friends came from large families. At the time, I didn’t think too much about it being a barrier. I felt similar to others because I had extended family members, and we were so close.

Jonathan Holmstrom: It was different due to the age gap and not having as many siblings. In order to hang out and have fun with kids close to our age, we had to get permission to go to a friend’s house instead of playing at home with siblings.

How has family size difference made you feel?

Maria: Large families seem to have companions at all times. All the relations in our area tend to visit each other more and exclusion happens. As families and extended families grow, so can the exclusion. People from smaller families can be forgotten.

John: I felt a little excluded at times, due to my disability, rather than left out otherwise. I never felt excluded at church and Sunday school, just more so because we lived in an isolated area in the country.

Caroline: When I was younger, it was easier to see the things we didn’t have, like enough siblings to play board games. I wanted younger siblings, but at the same time I was glad I didn’t have siblings wrecking my things. I enjoyed listening to adult conversations and not being told to “go play” and “be noisy elsewhere.” I think I learned at an early age to appreciate visiting with people of all ages.

Samantha: There have been times throughout my life when I have wished for siblings. For the most part, though, I feel like it hasn’t affected me much. God has blessed me with many, many cousins and close friends. I never felt very lonely growing up and I didn’t miss out on anything. I also have a close relationship with my parents, which is a huge blessing. I consider my parents to be my closest friends and my biggest support in my life of faith.

Elida: I tended to feel a bit excluded and defenseless in dealing and visiting with my peers. The assumption was sometimes made that we got everything we wanted, we were spoiled and wealthy. This couldn’t have been further from the truth. Our family had its struggles temporally and financially.

David: I didn’t feel as if we were missing anything. Looking back now, I would say we were very blessed. No chaos in the house, my own bedroom, quiet time whenever I wanted. When I needed a more lively atmosphere, over to my friends’ places I would go.

Jonathan: Sometimes I felt like an outcast, due to the larger families having their inside jokes. On the other hand, it was fun to hang out with different people and different personalities more often. I had to spread my visits, so one family wouldn’t get sick of me.

What would you like other people to be aware of?

Maria: Be aware of those around you and check to see how they are doing.

John: Inclusion goes both ways. It would be good if members of larger families would be aware of those from a small family to include and welcome them to join their activities. In the same way, members from a small family should feel free to reach out to be included.

Maria and John: Believers with disabilities are a blessing. They are people like everyone else and we don’t have to be afraid of them. Also, not all disabilities are visible. Including everyone makes even those with hidden disabilities feel included. It also breeds tolerance and acceptance. We don’t want to make fun or ridicule them.

Caroline: The more we get to know each other as individuals, the more we can understand when and how others might need support on their journey of faith. We can receive this support from others as well. Sometimes a person who is not related to you but is a sister or brother in faith can be just as much or more of a support to you than biological family members. Making an effort to spend time with believers outside one’s biological family is rewarding and enriching and likely means a lot to those who don’t have a lot of family around.

Samantha: Include people who don’t have siblings or not many siblings and welcome them into your family, if you have the chance. I got to feel what it is like to have siblings as I was welcomed so warmly to share in my cousins’ lives.

Elida: It is important to be aware and try to include everyone. Don’t be quick to assume or judge.

David: Remember to include friends that are in smaller families and bring them in close.

Jonathan: Families need to remember to be inclusive and not shun the advances of others, regardless of family size, as you don’t know the struggles they are going through.

How have you felt the congregation’s support and care?

Maria: When our kids were young, they were included in their peer groups at Sunday school, day circle and church. The availability of camps has given the opportunity to learn much, to share experiences, and to be uplifted and strengthened in faith. Our home congregation becomes our extended family, and we care for each other.

Caroline: People visited back and forth a lot when I was growing up. We would visit other families and families would come over for an afternoon or evening visit. Getting to know other families, both adults and children, made it feel more that I belonged at church too.

Henry and Twila: We have had support from friends and family in so many ways. Being included and remembered during special holidays and other times throughout the year has been a great blessing. We feel that when we don’t have a big family, it has been easier to help out others when they have been going through trials. Blessings and trials go with small families and large ones. Although there were times that we questioned why God didn’t give us even a few more children, we always come back to “Thy will be done!”

Samantha: I was included. I haven’t felt any different than someone in a large family, even though they may not relate to my personal situation.

Elida: Going to camp was always nice because there were many more people to visit with. Discussions reminded and encouraged me in faith. No matter our differences, we all have the Holy Spirit and the gospel belongs to all.

David: Dunblane congregation was small, very close, and loaded with relatives. With that environment, it didn’t seem that there were ever any gaps. I can see if you were a small family and members of a large congregation, how you might fall through the cracks more easily.

Jonathan: For the most part I felt welcome everywhere, in homes and at church. It was always a nice feeling, the warmth of the Holy Spirit wherever I went, knowing we are on the same journey, and I could turn to anyone for help in any way.

As parents of a small family in God’s kingdom, what are some of the questions and concerns you may have had when raising your children?

Edward and Maria: As parents you don’t always know what you need or how to reach out and ask for help. We don’t always feel that we should or can ask for help.

Henry and Twila: As parents of a small family in God’s kingdom our greatest concern was that Samantha would have believing friends. She has cousins that have included her and loved her. She has almost a sibling bond with some.

Leslie and Audrey: The worry always was that they might deny faith. We hoped and prayed they would have close friends to confide in.

Conclusion

Families of all sizes experience seasons of trial and sorrow and seasons of joy and fulfilment. Everyone experiences times when support is needed and other times when they can offer support to others. Friendliness and awareness are very key things to remember in one’s own family and between families of all sizes. There are so many ways to reach out to others.

No matter the size of our families, each one is known and cherished by God. He sees the joys and challenges of every home, whether bustling with many voices or quiet with only a few. In His eyes, no family is too small, no heart is overlooked, and no life is without purpose. His love surrounds us all.

As His children, we can trust that He has placed us exactly where we belong, blessing us with what we need for our journey. In every home, the most precious gift we own is faith.

Bless and shield us all, each and ev’ry home. Grant us escorts in Thy kingdom. Lord, we ask for guiding wisdom; may we always be in Thy unity. – SHZ 431:4

Discussion Questions:

1. How does family size impact the way responsibilities, chores, and relationships are structured within the home?

2. What challenges might individuals from small families face in congregational life, and how can congregations ensure that all feel included?

3. How does one’s family structure shape their experience of friendships and social connections?

4. What role does personal faith play in shaping your perspective on family size and in finding contentment in the blessings God has given?

5. How can individuals in any size family be more intentional about reaching out to those who may feel isolated or excluded?