Authentically Include Others

Rick Nevala | The Voice of Zion April 2025 - Round the Table Article --

I sometimes see a fellow traveler of the way sitting alone at services and my heart goes out to them. I wonder what brought them there to sit alone. I seldom find strength to go talk to them. Imagine arriving at services and no one notices you; no one speaks to you.

I admit that as a pastor in a large congregation I have sometimes felt loneliness. My circle of immediate relatives and close friends is small. Sunday morning after services I hear people openly say, “I am going here,” or “I am doing this.” Large social circles provide them with many opportunities to attend festive occasions and events.

Most times, exclusion is unintentional. Social structures facilitate our needs. Large family trees connect people from birth. There is no need to join a group – it is automatic. Family social structures help meet needs that arise in celebrating life events, and for some it’s easy to fill a house through family ties. I find that I have to wait for an invitation, or make an effort to include myself. 

In congregation life, we can review organizational structure and policies to discover who is included and who is excluded. We can compare lists of duties with the member list. A pastor can list all the elders and then visit them.

What about when new members join the congregation? How are they noticed? Do they know how to become a member? How do we welcome them? Some may be overlooked if they don’t have a helpful relative to usher them in.

What does the Bible say about this? Hebrews 10:24,25 encourages us to support one another in love and to gather together regularly. Scripture does not encourage us to believe on our own, but to gather to protect our mutual faith in the fellowship of believers.

To an individual, exclusion may feel intentional. One’s nature may be such that it is hard for them to approach others without a clear reason. Some may be timid by nature and may require support to find the bravery to connect and join groups.

Those who already belong to the group can authentically include others by coming to where the newcomer is, greeting them and treating them like they belong. Authenticity is about being real; there is no single perfect way to reach out and include another. We can do away with exclusion when we, as Paul exhorts, “outdo one another in showing honor [to the other]” (Rom. 12:10, ESV).

In some cases, exclusion is intentional. This can dramatically affect those who are excluded. If we walk by without acknowledging another, it emphasizes to the ignored one that they are alone. Jesus explains how the good Samaritan stopped to help. The pastor, the learned, the connected person who knew everyone passed by.

It feels good to include others. Paul encouraged the Galatian believers, “Let us not grow weary of doing good” (Gal. 6:9, ESV). He reminded them that in well-doing there is a blessing. Both the giver and receiver benefit. God’s kingdom benefits when all are included in the work and all walk in unity of Spirit and love. We can all take a part in this.  

Discussion Questions:

1. Tell about a time you joined a new group. How did you feel? What helped? 

2. How can we make others feel included at church or in school?

3. Who are the people that are marginalized today, in our lives and in society at large?

4. What can we learn from God’s Word, such as the parable of the Good Samaritan, about noticing and including others?