Caring for My Mother

Karen Young | The Voice of Zion August 2025 - Home & Family Article --

Like boughs that bear abundance when firmly on the tree, as people we’re created to with each other be. We thank You for our fam’lies, the life that You established, Your gifts to us, O Lord. 

God blessed me with my earthly mother to love and care for me. In her later years of life, I, along with my family, loved and cared for her. The songwriter wrote, “As people we’re created to with each other be.” It is God’s perfect plan to be together, helping one another. “Bear ye one another’s burdens and so fulfil the law of Christ” (Gal. 6:2). 

Caregiving for my mother was rewarding. She, an elder, had much to offer to us younger ones. She taught, also by example, with compassion and encouraged us in our lives of faith with the comforting words of the gospel. Her life’s experiences were interesting stories that we learned from.

Time spent with my mother was cozy and peaceful. We’d get all set up and organized and enjoy ourselves! It was peaceful knowing we could just be, or we could add activities to our schedule if we wanted to.

We need each other, Father, an open, warm embrace, the parents’ life experience, the children’s trusting gaze. We meet with disappointments, surprises, and enjoyment, here trav’ling side by side.

In difficult moments of caregiving, prayers were whispered to our heavenly Father. “Be careful for nothing; but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Jesus Christ” (Phil. 4:6,7).

We children and grandchildren learned something new every day from my mother. She met me with “an open, warm embrace” every time I saw her. This is a memory I treasure! There were many moments of “surprises and enjoyment.” A momentary coffee break, a walk, a sauna, or a heart-to-heart visit helped us re-energize for caregiving. Singing songs of Zion together, sometimes with spouses, grandchildren and other believers, was a joyous and peaceful way to settle for a good night’s sleep.

With selfishness and hurry, how blinded we become. We scarcely even notice our dear ones’ needs at home. But then we pray, dear Father, and share our stress and burden within the care of Christ.

Caregiving requires time and patience. Therefore, with a busy life, one can tire out or become impatient. “Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer” (Rom. 12:12). 

Stay with us, dear Lord Jesus, stay close in every phase, when we let go and part here, face deepest sorrow’s days. For You alone can carry and let us grow securely beneath Your beams of grace.

Accompanying my mother to services and to any gatherings of God’s children brought joy to us all! “For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them” (Matt. 18:20). 

My mother enjoyed having family and friends over to visit. Everyone helping to get ready for our guests to arrive made these get-togethers doable. “Many hands make light work!” was another phrase of my mother’s. 

My mother has now gained her heavenly rest. When I look back on her last years, many memories warm my heart. Though not always easy, caregiving for my mother was precious! “And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity” (1 Cor. 13:13).  

Italicized verses are from song of Zion 420, words by Leena Impiö, translated by Paul Waaraniemi.

A Child with Special Needs

Natalie Kiviahde

Caregiving for a child with special needs has brought many emotions, thoughts and doubts. Why has my child been made this way? Why has he been given to me, when I have twelve other kids to take care of as well? Why does he have this life? Why is it that, because of his special needs, our family often can’t do the things that come easily to others?

When a family is given a child with special needs, the family’s life can revolve around that special-needs child. Decisions are based on them and their needs. Sacrifices are made because of them. Family life is not like other families’ lives; it is not what many would call normal. Patience can be worn thin many times. Doubts and even anger can arise many times. 

A choice of sorts rises before the parents: you may stay in those hard thoughts or you can simply turn to TRUST.

Trusting God is easier, trusting that God takes care of His own. Trusting that God has made each person perfect in His eyes. Trust that God gave you the children you have – or for some couples, no children. Understand that this is your lot in life—and it’s “a lot”—chosen for you by the heavenly Father. 

We trust that God’s ways are far above our ways. Even if we don’t understand, may never understand, it is okay. When we can turn to God in all things and take care of our sins, doubts and anger with the gospel, our hearts are at peace and happiness is restored.

A child with special needs can remind us daily of the simplicity of living faith – keep faith and a good conscience. God will guide you all the days of your life.  

From Life Partner to Caregiver in a Few Short Years

Edna Kesti

Health trials can come in a variety of ways and at any time in one’s life. Whether it comes to you personally, with a child, or in later years with your spouse, a health trial is something that one would never choose. It is a life-changing event.

In our case, Ken, my husband of sixty-two years, began to show signs of dementia. Dementia is caused by damage to brain cells. The most common symptoms are problems with thinking, memory, behavior and physical abilities. It often causes anxiety and paranoia. My husband showed signs of all of these. I was told that there is no known cure for dementia.

At first, I tried to ignore what I saw. I often got angry with his behavior. My reaction was emotional and of no help. Within a year, he was diagnosed with moderate dementia. I was a caregiver for him and had no idea what to do.

I saw a quote in an article on dementia that said, “A patient with dementia is not giving you a hard time. A patient with dementia is having a hard time.” I knew I had to change, but I didn’t know how or what to change.

I had to hand these trials over to God and trust in Him. I knew that, without His guidance, I am nothing. I had to quit fighting and let God lead me. I needed to look at each day through Ken’s eyes. His ability to understand had been lost. I had to learn to find ways to diffuse situations by approaching them simply and calmly and in ways that he could understand.

A few believing friends who have similar trials are a great help. We share our experiences and find comfort that we have escorts along the way. Our family helps with the caregiving. Health Trials Camp has shown me that I am not alone in my trial. I have God’s kingdom at my side.

Like all children of God, I am trying to be content with my lot in life. I need to remember that where God has placed me is where I belong. He will not forsake me. When I do fail, which is often, that precious gospel is there for me. We are fortunate to be in God’s kingdom.  

I Have What I Need for Today

Karen Hillstrom

Don’t borrow the sorrows of tomorrow for it will steal the joy from today.

This saying, based on Matthew 6:34, was a comfort in the early days of my noticeable vision loss. It was a time of worry and fear. With time, prayer and unwavering support from my husband Keith, I accepted this trial with a happy heart. I’ve learned to focus on what I can see and experience instead of dwelling on what I don’t see.

I am a 48-year-old wife and mother who is legally blind. I have retinitis pigmentosa (RP), a degenerative eye disease with no currently known cure or treatment. When fear of the future comes, my coping thought is “I have what I need for today.”

When I was diagnosed at the age of 30, my vision loss was minimal and didn’t affect my daily life. As my sight worsened, we were happy to learn the gene causing my disease is recessive so my children shouldn’t inherit it. This is a great comfort! 

At the age of 35, I quit driving. Our family now lives on the edge of Menahga, Minn., within walking distance to the school, clinic and bank. With family and friends nearby, it is easy for our kids and me to find rides. I am also thankful our son and his family live across the road from us. 

RP affects people’s vision differently. Today, I can see clearly in some of my outer peripheral vision, and in a very small area of my central vision. When walking around, I don’t usually trip over things at my feet. I see them. My clear, central area is so small that when at church, I see the minister’s face but not his tie. In my outer periphery, I see my pew and the pew in front of me. The blurry area, between the minister’s face and the two pews, is filled with small, flashing lights. When looking at my phone I can only see one word at a time. 

The hardest part of my vision loss is not being able to recognize faces. I see people, so I don’t walk into them. However, I don’t know who they are. Some people, knowing my situation, will say “Hi, Karen!” I can usually recognize their voice, and I am grateful for them. They take away the alone in a crowd feeling I experience regularly. 

Despite my RP, I can still take care of my family. We have a busy house, with nine of our eleven children living at home. Our home, with its familiarity, is my happy place.

Amid this trial, there are many blessings. I no longer sweat the small stuff. I learned to be vulnerable and ask for help when I need it. My husband and I leaned on each other, and we are grateful for a strong marriage as a result. Holding hands is often necessary, especially in crowded areas or in the dark. Also, our children are helpful and empathetic, often asking if I need anything.

Today’s technology makes life as a blind person much easier and more enjoyable. Smart devices set timers, read content and contain endless hours of audio programming. I deeply appreciate the audio version of the Voice of Zion on Hearken. I haven’t been able to read the print version in full for many, many years. 

In April 2024, I was diagnosed with an extremely rare form of cancer. Having the hope of heaven and being in the midst of God’s congregation brought much comfort during this uncertain time. Thankfully, due to early diagnosis and excellent medical care, my prognosis is good. The cancer diagnosis has brought me back to my simple motto, “I have what I need for today.” I am hopeful God will allow me to live many more years to love and serve my family. “This is the day which the Lord hath made, we will rejoice and be glad in it” (Ps. 118:24). 

Carried by Grace: A Family’s Journey through Special Needs

Sharon Kallinen

1. Tell us about your family.

My husband Dean and I have been married for over thirty years. God has blessed us with five children – now all adults – and seven grandchildren, with two more on the way. Our two oldest daughters live in the same zip code and our youngest son lives in Finland with his family.

Two of our children, Jessica and Trevor, have special needs. Jessica has Cerebral Palsy along with a chromosomal abnormality, and Trevor has Down Syndrome. Both were evaluated to function cognitively in the range of 3 to 7 years old.

Today, life has settled into a calm rhythm. Trevor enjoys living at home with us, and Jessica happily lives in the Building Hope home. After many years of challenges, we are grateful to see them enjoying life in their own unique ways.

2. How have your special-needs children impacted your life?

Their impact has been significant, shaping who we are as a family. Because Jessica and Trevor required daily care and support, we were almost always together for appointments and routines. It brought a closeness among the siblings that still lasts today.

Interestingly, our children were drawn toward professions that reflect this caregiving spirit. Kirsti became a lab scientist, Megan is now a speech therapist, and Dustin pursued nursing. It’s a testament to how Jessica and Trevor quietly taught all of us about compassion, patience, and the sacredness of every life.

One truth we’ve tried to impress upon all our family is this: never mock God’s creations. We can’t lose patience with those who have disabilities given by God.

3. Tell about a time that stands out as extremely difficult.

There were many difficult times. When all five children were young, our days were filled with constant motion – appointments, therapies, and hospital stays, some of them life-threatening. With the children so close in age, it often felt like the youngest three were triplets, each needing the same level of care and attention.

We relied heavily on Personal Care Attendants during those seasons, though staffing was often inconsistent. My sisters were a tremendous help, stepping in whenever they could. Still, we needed every hand – and every prayer – we could get. In the most exhausting and uncertain moments, I often whispered, “Thy will be done,” clinging to the promise that God will never give us more than we can bear.

One of the most painful memories was a particularly difficult hospitalization for Jessica. She had reached her lowest point, completely withdrawn, curled up in a fetal position and refusing human interaction. I remember praying desperately: “Lord, if this is how the rest of her life will be, please take her home.” He did not.

In faith, we requested a prayer of intercession at church. The very next day, Jessica turned a corner. Something shifted – she began to heal from within. Her staff was astonished by the sudden change. But we knew. God’s entire congregation had lifted her up before the throne of grace, and He had answered.

Jessica has since blossomed like a beautiful flower. That moment reminds us in a profound way: never underestimate the power of prayer.

4. What joys and blessings have you experienced?

The joys are many – woven into the simplest moments. Jessica and Trevor radiate happiness and contentment. They remind us of the beauty found in a slowed-down life, where smiles, routines, and small delights carry deep meaning.

It’s a blessing to see how our grandchildren love Jessica and Trevor with such gentleness and care. They see no difference – only love.

Above it all, there is grace. Verses 3 and 4 of hymn 192, “The Grace of God Abundant” often echo in my mind: “Be comforted, ye weary! Your Shepherd carries you,” and “The wounds of Jesus, holy, are cities free in grace.” These lines have been a quiet refrain through the years.

So, too, a Finnish hymn: “Every morning there is grace anew – why then burdens we carry?” (Virsi 547). These hymns speak what my heart has long known: we are not walking this road alone. God carries the weary.   

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