Marriage – A New Season of Life

The Voice of Zion May 2026 - Home and Family Articles --

Marriage brings profound changes that ripple through interpersonal relationships, social circles, and standing both within God’s kingdom and in the broader community. Adapting to a new reality can be challenging for couples as they adjust together. Existing friendships, especially long-standing ones with single people, often feel the impact most immediately. A spouse’s needs and priorities must now be honored, which can create unintentional barriers or hurdles that didn’t exist before when making plans or spending time with friends. 

At the same time, friendships with other married couples may not yet exist, or may not feel natural to pursue. Newlyweds can feel hesitant or awkward about approaching more seasoned couples who appear to be in a very different life stage and may already have many years of shared experience, or who have children or even grandchildren.

Within the wider community, including the home congregation, newlyweds often notice they are now perceived and addressed as a unit rather than as individuals. Their responsibilities and roles may shift as their former single identities morph into a new united identity. This external adjustment unfolds alongside the deeply personal work of building intimacy with one another, establishing a shared home, and forging a new family, which all carry their own significant demands and changes.

This season of change can feel disorienting and demanding. Here, three newly married couples – Vaughn and Athena Janckila, Clayton and Kylie Jurmu, and Damon and Leanda Jurmu – discuss the transition from being single to being married. They consider how the congregation provides meaningful support as they navigate this important phase of life. They marvel at God’s perfect plan for their lives as they strive to keep faith and a good conscience on the pathway to heaven.

A New Marriage, a New Beginning

What role do friends have when you are newly married?

Vaughn and Athena: It’s important to keep friendships alive and healthy after marriage. Many new friendships develop with this change and they, along with lifelong friends, keep us connected to the congregation. They bring comfort as many are in a similar stage of life and can relate to the trials and joys of each chapter. Trusted friends offer wisdom, prayer and a listening ear.

Clayton and Kylie: Being newly married is a big change when it comes to friendships. In our marriage, our friends give us so much support, but we have noticed that we now lean on each other a lot more. Friends play different roles through the stages of life. When we were single, we were with friends every day experiencing many of the same joys and hardships. Even after getting married, we have been with friends during big moments and have supported each other in hard times. But our lives have changed since our wedding, and our relationship as spouses has become primary, with friendships taking a secondary role.

Damon and Leanda: In our marriage we lean on our friends a lot. Single friends and married friends have given comfort and advice. Friends play a meaningful and supportive role during the early stages. Each marriage is unique and comes with many unknowns. As we adjust to new routines, responsibilities and expectations, healthy friendships provide encouragement, accountability and perspective.

What are some characteristics of a supportive friend?

Vaughn and Athena: Friends encourage us to keep faith strong when entering married life. They listen and forgive as troubles and trials arise, without gossiping or fueling conflict. In a healthy marriage, each spouse becomes the other’s closest companion. But strong, respectful friendships can strengthen and support the marriage bond. A supportive friend makes life easier, brings peace instead of drama, and encourages us to be our best selves.

Damon and Leanda: Supportive friends provide honest yet compassionate guidance. They offer perspective without undermining our marriage. We celebrate milestones with other believers, who consistently act to strengthen bonds of friendship.

How can a couple encourage growth and bonding in their marriage?

Vaughn and Athena: For us, communication has been most important. Taking a moment to discuss the highs and lows of the day, expressing gratitude for each other, sharing memories, and spending quality time together all help us strengthen our marriage. We’ve also experienced how good it is to be quick to forgive when troubles and offenses arise and to share the gospel at the end of each day.

Clayton and Kylie: We have very different interests, and we grow and bond by engaging in each other’s interests and hobbies. We’ve experienced how meaningful it is for each of us to see how each other’s heart and values are reflected in the things we care about. This helps deepen our understanding of the other person and creates opportunities for growth in our marriage.

Damon and Leanda: We also strive to keep good communication. This is something we learned in our courting days and have brought it into our marriage. We communicate often, even little things, and that has helped us stay connected. Another huge part of our marriage is supporting each other’s goals and aspirations. Without that support, a person can begin to feel alone in a marriage. But with that support, the spouses work together toward a common goal, which is so fulfilling. Another way we encourage growth is going on dates and creating new experiences with each other.

What are ways to truly get to know your spouse from the heart?

Vaughn and Athena: Truly getting to know one’s spouse from the heart requires intent. It is important to spend consistent quality time together without distractions and use that time to focus on meaningful conversations. We have to continue to ask, listen and learn about each other and preach the gospel consistently in the home. Just as our journey through life never stops, getting acquainted and reacquainted is an ongoing conversation.

Clayton and Kylie: We have had to learn how to ask hard questions. This has strengthened our marriage and opened the door to better understanding what each of us is thinking. We also have gotten to know each other better by freely preaching the gospel and openly talking about matters of faith. We encourage each other to share struggles, insecurities and hardships. Getting to truly know each other from the heart creates openness and comfort. 

Damon and Leanda: Knowing one’s spouse from the heart is important to keeping a marriage strong. It takes work from each spouse. Intentional time, emotional safety and genuine curiosity create a safe space where spouses can be open and share what’s on their minds. We have sometimes found it easier to start a conversation with a text. A text can bring matters out in the open, especially things that are hard to bring up face-to-face. It can give time to think and let feelings settle, which promotes healthy conversation.

How do you create connections in your home congregation?

Vaughn and Athena: We create connections by serving on committees and elsewhere in the congregation. Showing up to functions such as home services, craft nights or anywhere there is fellowship with other believers helps to strengthen faith and connections. Inviting and including others is another lifelong effort, whether it’s gathering for coffee, getting together for lunch, visiting in our home, or even enjoying a simple conversation after services.

Clayton and Kylie: We actively participate in events, volunteer on work crews, and serve on kitchen committees. This surrounds us with believers of different ages and stages of life. We get to connect with people we wouldn’t typically interact with, which strengthens unity and reminds us that we all help each other toward our common goal. 

Damon and Leanda: Since we have been married, we have been able to attend Youth Days and Couples’ Camp. Both brought comfort and contentment to our marriage. At Youth Days we would hang out with our single friends, renewing those connections. Attending Couples’ Camp brought us out of our comfort zone. But by the end of the weekend, we both agreed how refreshed in our faith we were. Hearing other couples talk about trials and blessings in their own marriages made us realize we are not alone, and that there are many in our congregation we can go to when we need help. We were reminded that marriage is a huge blessing and to keep Jesus in the center of our marriage. We have a travel mate to help us get to heaven. Despite being married the shortest of all, we felt a connection with those married much longer than us.

What pressures do you experience from the world?

Vaughn and Athena: Going from single to married life, the pressure from the world changes. The world surrounds us, and we see couples with all different types of relationships. It can be tempting to emulate lifestyles that don’t align with God’s Word. Open communication and attending services have helped us stay close to God’s kingdom. Keeping up the appearance of an ideal relationship and trying to live up to external standards can distract from the most important part of a marriage, which is to help each other get to heaven.

Clayton and Kylie: We both experience temptation in the workplace. Hanging out too much with coworkers outside of work can be a temptation. Many coworkers have asked us to attend gatherings, but we know it is harder to make it to heaven surrounded by unbelievers. Coworkers also ask many questions about us getting married young and starting a family right away. Worldly attitudes toward marriage and children surround us at work. We know that marriage and children are blessings from God. Unfortunately, many in the workplace cannot see this.

Damon and Leanda: Improper advice and worldly influence can affect a couple. Nowadays, marrying at a young age is unconventional, and having a large family seems to invite scrutiny and unsolicited remarks. Society emphasizes family planning, which can tempt believing couples. A planned and carefree lifestyle looks enticing, but we believe God gives what He knows is right for us and will provide for all His children. We want to put our faith in Him. This guidance offers so much assurance. 

What kind of support do you long for? How do you find this support?

Vaughn and Athena: We have appreciated invitations from other couples and families, which have made us feel present and part of the congregation. To find support, we have found that we need to be honest about our needs, to be open to receiving help, and to graciously accept the help that God sends. Healthy support is mutual and should be given and received. As the golden rule states, “Treat others how you would like to be treated.”

Clayton and Kylie: We long for the support and guidance of other married couples, whether from our young married friends or our parents. We have found that visiting with other couples brings us comfort in our own marriage and offers new perspectives on what we can do to support each other. We learned many things from our parents about a healthy marriage. Leaning on our parents has been a big help for us.

Damon and Leanda: We are expecting our first child soon and will need support navigating life as new parents in today’s world. We have been blessed with close friends in the same phase of life who encourage and help us.

What brings you comfort and fulfillment in God’s kingdom?

Vaughn and Athena: Knowing that we are God’s children and are part of something greater than ourselves brings us fulfillment. We find comfort in the unity of the congregation and in the peace that comes from the forgiveness of sins. We trust that God is guiding our lives according to His plan. Discussions with other couples have made us so happy to know that our children will be born into a loving congregation with many believing friends.

Clayton and Kylie: We find comfort and fulfillment in the unity and stability of God’s kingdom. We surround ourselves with believers. Attending services and church events and seeing the willingness of believers to serve each other brings us hope and inspires us to continue in God’s kingdom.

Damon and Leanda: Being married is a huge change from being single. We were blessed with this gift at a young age and have been married less than a year. When we see how pressures from the outside world can affect a young marriage, it makes us think about what can be done to support it. As spouses, we help each other. Our congregation and friends have also supported us by keeping us close to God’s kingdom. We find comfort in knowing that no trial we face as a married couple is new. A believing couple can turn to many resources to help their marriage, such as trusted friends and family, and many books and articles written by believers. Spending time with our many friends and family in God’s kingdom has brought us so much fulfillment.  

How can the congregation support newlyweds?

• Newlyweds can feel like they don’t have much in common with older married couples. Those who are experienced in marriage can help by reaching out to a newly wedded couple and visiting with them. A new couple needs friendships among other married people, as well as with single people. It’s good to notice newlyweds and engage in conversation with them on topics that relate to their new station, such as the joys and challenges of establishing a new life together.

• Part of being an escort to newlyweds is helping them feel welcomed and making them feel like they belong in the congregation. Greet them. Invite them to gatherings or simply for a visit in the home.

• Newlyweds benefit from getting to know others as a couple and from being included in visiting others in different stages of life. Getting to know others as a couple is different than making friends as a single person. These “couple friends” help strengthen the marriage bond and open new avenues of support for a newly married couple.

Discussion Questions

1. It has been said that a wedding gives birth to a new family. How does a newborn family differ from singlehood or families that are more established?

2. What things can be done to support newly married couples as they navigate the transition from single to married life?

3. How can newlyweds support and contribute to the congregation?

4. In what ways do we perceive married couples differently than other individuals? In what ways do we see them similarly?

5. What pressures and difficulties arise in a young marriage? What joys and blessings emerge?

6. Married people often refer to their spouse as “my other half.” Why? What does this signify? 

7. What positive examples of marriage, or interactions between a married couple, have you seen? What made them positive? 

2026_05_Pub_MayVZ_HF_Marriage – A New Season of Life.pdf

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