Our Gifts and Calling

The Voice of Zion April 2026 - Home and Family Articles --

Everyone has a gift and calling. Some are more evident than others: one person has a beautiful singing voice; another quickly reads a written text and understands it right away. One person can lead a group through a lesson and teaches Bible class; another gently shines the light of a child of God in the workplace through a positive attitude and work ethic. One person creates a home for a family; another explores other countries by backpacking. Our individual gifts and calling are from the hand of our heavenly Father. Whether our calling or gifts seem great or small, we wish to develop and share them for the honor and glory of God. Jesus says: “Let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven” (Matt. 5:16, ESV). 

Our gifts and calling develop as we mature and typically begin to take shape in adolescence. This stage of development often involves the search for a lifelong companion – the gift of a believing spouse. The quest for a spouse follows a progression that starts with casual friendship, proceeds to courtship and engagement, and culminates in a Christian wedding. Not everyone is granted a spouse or may not find one until later in life. Nevertheless, God’s perfect plan for our lives includes all the gifts and callings He lays before us. No matter our station in life, we all are called to be a child of God in His kingdom, where the goal of heaven shines like a beacon guiding our earthly journey.

A Christian Courtship and Wedding

Randy Haapala

Courtship is for a person who is old enough to seriously consider marriage, who seeks a helpmate on the way to heaven. It is God’s gift and blessing. God’s Word tells us, “He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord” (Prov. 18:22, NIV). Courtship is not only for the young to consider, who are thinking about getting married someday, but also parents and others. Parents teach their children about the seriousness of courtship and support them as they endeavor to find a lifelong companion of the opposite sex. 

Our world today looks at courting, or “dating,” differently. The world may see it as an activity merely for one’s pleasure or fulfilling the lust of the flesh. For some, there is little thought leading to marriage. The worldly approach to courtship can certainly be a temptation for anyone but is contrary to the teaching of God’s children and Word. Scripture speaks clearly: “Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, love for the Father is not in them. For everything in the world – the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life – comes not from the Father but from the world” (1 John 2:15,16, NIV). 

How do believers behave when courting? 

Believers carry the name of a child of God and are free from sin through the power of the gospel. But we are not free to live in sin. Sin always leads away from faith. The enemy of souls tempts us and whispers to us. He encourages us to do what the flesh desires.

We battle our flesh in avoiding behavior that is sin before our heavenly Father. Prior to marriage, any kind of sexual relations are sin. Such matters need to be cared for in the blood of Christ. The Holy Spirit “teaches us to say ‘No’ to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age” (Titus 2:12, NIV). 

In leading astray, the enemy might even remind us that God’s grace will be there for us afterward. God’s grace is there, indeed, for us always. But His Word cautions us even in this temptation: “You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love” (Gal. 5:13, NIV). 

Dear believer, remember that our heavenly Father knows all and sees all. When seeking a believing spouse, may we do so in prayer that our heavenly Father would lead and guide in all matters from the time we meet all the way to our wedding day. We also pray that He would bless our married life together and help us to love and support one another until death parts us. 

This is the why we seek a spouse within God’s kingdom. We want to travel with a believing escort who can help us on the way to heaven. Believers seek a spouse in prayer that the heavenly Father would grant such a blessing.

How do we prepare for a wedding?

Believers want to plan a wedding such that it glorifies our Father in heaven. We do not want a wedding that offends any guest who comes to witness God’s wonderful blessing. In good Christian taste we choose our dress, music, and order of service. May we have a heart that wants to please our heavenly Father while he is blessing us with a believing spouse. “Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit” (Gal. 5:25, NIV). 

Leading up to the wedding, other events also often occur, including bachelor parties and hen parties. These are places of watching in the time of planning. The world is close to all of us. We want these events to be in good taste and to avoid causing offense. We wish to cherish the gift of faith God has blessed us with, and to live of faith every moment. This is the work of God’s Spirit in us! May we have a heart that endeavors not only to live in the Spirit, but also to walk in the Spirit. 

Our flesh easily goes overboard on these occasions. It is good for us to remember and consider: would I do this or that if my Lord and Savior were sitting in the room beside me? Remember, our Lord is with us wherever we are! He told us himself: “Surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age” (Matt. 28:20, NIV). This reassurance is comforting. May God bless our courtship and planning wedding together. 

But we are human, and offenses will arise from time to time. And when offenses come, God’s grace is always offered in His kingdom. The blood of Christ gives strength for the endeavor of faith. We have a good and gracious God, who continues to lead and guide each one of us as we walk the narrow path to Heaven! May we have a heart that heeds the instruction of His Word and kingdom: “Whoever has ears, let them hear what the Spirit says to the churches” (Rev. 2:29, NIV).

What is the role of a wedding guest?

Guests come to a wedding come to see their loved ones receive a great gift from the hand of God: to receive each other in marriage. It is important for wedding guests to come in prayer that God would bless the marriage temporally and especially spiritually. Guests pray that the couple would be preserved in faith their entire life. 

When we attend a wedding, it is good to consider what God, through His spoken Word, has to say to us, as guests. Precious instruction is given to the couple getting married. This instruction is also given to each wedding guest. For a wedded couple, it is a great blessing to be carried in the love and care of the congregation from the very beginning of marriage. What greater comfort can there be than to dwell where many witnesses surround us and help us on the way to heaven? 

God’s kingdom is a precious place to dwell, where sinners receive strength and sustenance on the way to heaven. May we continue to help, support and care for each other through the life phases of courtship and marriage. “We are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses” (Heb. 12:1, NIV).  

Finding a Spouse

Tori Aho 

For me and my husband Jay, courtship wasn’t a drawn-out, uncertain process – it passed quickly. It was an intentional time of getting to know each other with the understanding that we were ultimately heading for marriage. In today’s world, it has become so normalized for relationships to start casually and end easily. As believers, we understand that courtship is meant to lead towards marriage and is something to take seriously.

Our short courtship wasn’t about ignoring warning signs or being reckless. Instead, it was fueled by a shared faith, mutual respect, and the clear desire to marry. We spent many evenings talking about things that are important to us: hobbies, friends, family and faith. Naturally, disagreements sometimes arose. But no matter how severe they were, we made sure to end them with the precious gospel. 

We fell in love not just with each other’s personalities, but with the way God was working in the other person’s life. It is a love rooted in friendship and strengthened by shared faith and prayer. 

From Courtship to Marriage 

Our engagement was brief, but purposeful. We focused on spending time with each other and our family and friends, visiting and getting advice from the ones we love most, who reinforced the teaching that marriage is a lifelong covenant. It is not solely built on feelings but on the forgiveness of sins and faith. Even the strongest of marriage depends on God’s grace every day. From childhood, believers prepare for future relationships by learning to ask for forgiveness, to forgive quickly, and to speak the truth in love.

While the world told us to wait – to establish careers, to travel, to “find ourselves” – we chose to get married, trusting that God would knit our paths together. Getting married young, especially in today’s culture, is often met with surprise and judgement from others in the world. But for us, it fulfilled our prayers to God and was the start of the greatest adventure. 

Whatever stage of life we may be in – single, courting, engaged or married – each of us lives by faith alone. We trust in God’s promise that he leads our lives according to His will. Whether offering encouragement, advice, loving counsel or prayer, our home congregation in Cokato plays such an important part of our lives as young believers in this season of life. In the congregation we help one another keep faith and a good conscience. None of us walk this path alone. We travel together, dependent on God’s grace every step of the way.  

Experiencing support throughout our courtship and into our marriage has been the biggest blessing! 

• The loving reminders and guidance from our family and close friends in our congregation were a great help throughout our courtship.

• Visiting with other believers at church events or at the coffee table was our biggest source of help and encouragement as a young couple. Whether we were visiting about the challenges or the joys, I would leave the conversation with a lighter heart knowing I’m not alone. 

• Having many ways to help within the congregation, especially during the time of our Scandinavian Bazaar, has brought us so much joy and helped us connect with many people in our congregation that we wouldn’t otherwise have gotten to know. 

• The men’s and women’s evenings that the Cokato congregation arranges have been such amazing ways to connect with people and visit about all sorts of things no matter what stage of life we’re in. 

• Whether it was an excited congratulations, a quick “I’m thinking of you,” a gift left on the doorstep, or a short visit at the local Marketplace, each interaction reassured us that we are carried in the love of our home congregation.

Editor’s note: The following is an excerpt from the book Fortifying the Foundation: Keeping a Christian Household (LLC 2016, pp. 84-85). The book is the third volume in the series “What Do Believers Say?” It contains a variety of articles that address issues of life in the believing home, relationships, courtship and marriage, and parenthood and childrearing.

Courting in Christian Love

Dan Rintamaki

When single believers seek a life companion, it is good to pray to the heavenly Father, asking Him to help you and guide, asking Him for patience to wait for the appropriate time. Pray as our Lord and savior Jesus prayed: “Not as I will, but as Thou wilt” (Matt. 26:39). Pray for strength and understanding to accept God’s will, even if He does not provide a mate.

Individuals who do not have the responsibilities of family life are able to devote more of their attention to the work of God’s kingdom. Apostle Paul, himself, was not given a spouse. Nevertheless, Paul teaches that it is good to live as a single person, even as he did (1 Cor. 7:7,8). It is not a disgrace to be single, and unmarried people are no less precious before God. Among believers, single people, widows, and widowers are carried in the same mutual and forgiving love of our Lord Jesus Christ. It is good to be content with our lot in life, knowing that we have a far better hope in things to come. As Jesus teaches, “Rejoice, because your names are written in heaven” (Luke 10:20).

When considering courtship, it’s good to think of practical matters. We can begin by asking ourselves: “Am I ready to get married? Am I ready to establish a home? Am I ready to support a family?” This is especially true for young people who are in school or college, studying and preparing for their future. Marriage involves serious responsibilities. Sober thinking and caution are certainly in order. And when courtship begins, the best and most precious advice and support can be found in God’s kingdom, “which is the pillar and ground of truth” (1 Tim. 3:15).  

O Jesus, come and guide our plans; 

we need Your gracious blessing. 

We give our lives into Your hands; 

keep us from fears distressing.

O Spirit, rich in truth and grace, 

bestow Your warmth and power, 

and shine the light of Jesus’ face 

on us each day and hour.

SHZ 253:2,3

Why do we use the word courtship?

In many Christian settings, the word courtship is sometimes used instead of more common expressions like dating or going out. This choice is not simply about vocabulary, but about the tone and intention the word carries. In everyday language, dating can sometimes suggest something casual or temporary – two people spending time together without a clear sense of direction or long-term purpose. For some believers, this language feels too light to describe a relationship that may be moving toward one of life’s most serious commitments.

The word courtship, by contrast, carries a sense of intentionality and dignity. Historically it referred to the period when two people come to know one another with the possibility of marriage in mind. While the relationship is still a time of learning, friendship, and growth, the word itself gently signals that the connection is not merely for passing enjoyment, but is approached with care, respect, and thought for the future.

At the same time, using the word courtship does not mean that this season is meant to be solemn or joyless. Quite the opposite. This time can be full of excitement, laughter and getting to know the other. God often uses these early days to show the deep joy that can come when two people find in one another a companion for life. As friendship deepens and trust grows, there can be many moments of happiness, shared hopes, and quiet gratitude for the path God may be opening before them.

Discussion questions

1. Who should I involve in the quest for the gift of a spouse, when seeking guidance about the possibility of marriage? How can parents, trusted friends, and believers in the congregation support this time?

2. Is there an “appropriate” length for courtship and engagement, or does it vary by couple? What factors might influence this?

3. In what ways can I support friends or family members who are courting or engaged?

4. What habits or practices are good to establish during courtship and engagement? 

5. What should a couple do if, during courtship or engagement, they begin to sense that marriage may not be the right path for them after all? How can such a decision be made with honesty, care, and respect? Is it possible to remain friends?

6. When should a couple begin talking about important life matters such as marriage expectations, children, a home, finances, and faith?

2026_04_Pub_AprVZ_HF_Our Gifts and Calling.pdf

Download PDF • 163KB